Introducing ME-part 1  

Posted by Nitu in ,

June arrived. My friends began to shout.

Narendra, 'buddy, get ready to spend at least 15k.'
Me, 'wtf, paidaa hotewaqt bhi itna kharsa nahi huwa tha!!!(even in my birth time, the price wasn't this much)'
Rasika- 'Can we have the party at a resort?'
Me, 'what? Resort? You are kidding, right?'
'NooOO, I mean it. Seriously.'
Somehow I managed to convince her that it wouldn't be a resort. In the process, I had to throw some philosophical arguments from the kitty of Buddha, 'birth is the cause of every suffering. So,..' Good thing about girls is that you can put the end to a conversation efficiently just throwing a little dose of philosophy. All you need to do is to remember a few philosophers name.
Anyway, we agreed to have it on a place we both love.
'CooOOl.' she concluded.

Finally 6/6 happened. The day when this boy's mom visits a lord Krishna's temple and her soulless son visits millionaire Vijay Mallaya's temples. Idealogies apart, we both celebrate the same cause though.
She became a mother and I became a son on 1980, 6th June, 5.17 p.m.
You must be thinking,'wtf, wy dn't u jst tel dat 6/6 is ur b'day? It's an era of sms,twitter. Ppl dnt hv time even for sex, isn't?'
Relax, life is not sms. Remember the bastard called, Darwin ? Couldn't he keep his mouth shut? 28 years survival stories in sms? You must be crazy just like god.

It (my birth) all started with a knock, yes, a knock at the God's sleeping chamber.
Time-Year 1980, 5th june, 11.15.33 pm.

Knock, knock..
No response.
Bang..Bang..this time with full forces.
(After voyeuring in Madonna's bedroom, god was trying to have a quality time.)
"WTF"- he was surely annoyed while ajaring the door. After a peep into Madonna's hole, anybody would pronounce that..he knew that because he himself set up those rules of erotica.
But his temperament froze off instantly ..because in front of him was standing Dr. GenieAss, none other than the head of conscience and intelligence research wing. Among thousand R&D wings, that was one of the only two research wings with zero level access code..meaning god directly supervises its activities. It also means Dr. GenieAss is authorized to show his ass anytime. Among many vital projects, it's primary projects are- 1. To model unique inscrutable complicated female psyche so that men keep busy themselves analyzing them without needing to turn their attentions to god ever.
2. To prototype certain brains and simulate evolution to analyze whether one day there would be an intelligent brain enough to hack god's mind..exposing all his secrets (he knows, a secret is a weakness in disguise)

"What's the matter Dr.?"
"Sir, prototype xx-delta-7-it is showing unusual evolve pattern..It is evolving at a rate of 1.7 zillion faster than any other prototype and 3.32 billion faster than yours per minute. We have got an emergency situation sir."
"What?????? How could you allow to happen that, Dr.?"
"Sir as you know, we implanted a very high overdose of intelligence to the subject. It's intelligence to mass ratio is an unprecedented 5000:3. We expected a natural dense explosion, leading to self annul. But strangely it is balancing itself while still evolving."
"How long it before surpasses my level of intelligence?" -god's doomsday fear is shockingly near.
"Sir, our estimate shows 17hours 31 minutes 7 seconds."
"oh god...."- even god uses this word in a time of crisis. He wishes there be a still higher power to rescue. "Terminate it with immediate effect. You hear me? Terminate it."
"I am sorry sir. Terminate is not possible at this time. The subject has developed a defense mechanism that even our most sophisticated technique can't break.
'ohhhh..god...'-- Madonna was as distant as Pluto by then..his eyes were seeing ghosts of fears. He never thought he had been hosting so much fear in his omnipotent heart.
'Dr. there has to be a way least a way'-- god desperately looking for a thatch like a drowning man.
"Indeed sir, there is a way. But it's extremely risky."
[To be continued...]

This entry was posted on Monday, June 9, 2008 at Monday, June 09, 2008 and is filed under , . You can follow any responses to this entry through the comments feed .



*fingers crossed*

eagerly waiting for the further stuff!!!

June 10, 2008 at 6:46 AM


Never knew you have such a humor:)

Good one.

June 10, 2008 at 9:04 AM

lol..keep crossed :)
@Priya, that a sarcastic remark :)

June 10, 2008 at 9:10 PM

belated happy bday :)

June 11, 2008 at 12:02 AM

Nope. I am pretty honest!!!! Not many cannot write humor and if u can, its a gift.

June 11, 2008 at 4:03 AM


the only way out is, let the delta thing, to be christened Nitu Chiring, be born before it surpasses God's Godhood..and leave it in a state where the friction, in terms of fellow human intelligence, in God's world would automatically slow down the progress. And God would be saved!!

I am sure you are going to write something better than that in the next post...

June 11, 2008 at 6:42 AM

okay now its your intro part ....quite interesting start up ...will be waiting for more
take care

June 12, 2008 at 4:34 AM

That was funny,something different from your usual style :)

P.S. Belated birthday wishes!

June 14, 2008 at 12:48 AM

okay.... happy b'day first.
i wanna kno more.. Actually ur 'Birth' is more lik a sci-fic stori... but i luv it !

June 14, 2008 at 5:32 AM

nice one

June 15, 2008 at 9:43 AM

To model unique inscrutable complicated female psyche...

Now that was funny, I just wish it was possible.

June 15, 2008 at 7:11 PM

Where's the next part?

June 16, 2008 at 11:02 PM

:) waiting for the next release :)

June 17, 2008 at 1:23 AM

Happy Bday!!
Good stuff here:-)

June 17, 2008 at 3:50 AM

Belated happy birthday!
and here's also wishing you many happier returns of d day!

June 23, 2008 at 11:41 PM

I know your talent Nitu sir. So keep it up .

April 6, 2009 at 1:55 AM

Post a Comment